Dare Show!
by swordofbread
Summary: Read and Review! Need more Dares! Pretty Dang funny!
1. Chapter 1

Truth or Dare!

Critter: Welcome to Warriors Dare Show! I'm your host, Critter! And this is-

Cristy: I'm Cristy!

*Critter scowls*

Critter: Well since this is the first show, we'll be making up all the dares today! First off-

Cristy: First off is Leafpool!

*Critter scowls*

Critter: Would you stop interrupting me?

Cristy: You have all the good lines!

Critter: I know, that's cause I'm the-

Cristy: That's 'cause she's the host!

*Critter scowls*

Critter: Anyways, Let's bring in Leafpool! Oh Hans!

*A giant hand brings in Leafpool*

Leafpool: What? What am I doing here? I have to go back to being sad with Squirrelflight!

Cristy: You're on the warriors dare show! Here's your dare!

*hands Leafpool a paper note*

Critter: Read it loud please!

Leafpool: Have your future told by Midnight, well that's not bad at all!

*Critter snickers*

Leafpool: Why did you do that?

Critter: Do what?

Leafpool: You know, laugh like that!

Critter: Into the room with Midnight!

* A small door opens a badger inside. Leafpool enters. Door closes.*

Cristy: Let's see what happening on the CATTV!

*Goes to flick switch, but Critter stops her*

Critter: I wouldn't do that,

Cristy: Why?

Critter: Just listen…

_Leafpool: Hello Midnight! Midnight... what are you doing? Midnight! NOOOO-_

_*Vicious snarls and screams are heard.*_

Cristy: That wasn't Midnight was it?

Critter: Nope.

Cristy: Who was it?

Critter: Just a badger I found in the forest.

Cristy: Oh well, next dare!

Critter: This one goes to Ferncloud!

Cristy: Who?

Critter: You know, Ferncloud? Dustpelt's mate? Mother of half of Thunderclan?

Cristy: Oh yes, the last one reminded me.

Critter: Oh Hans! Would you please bring in Ferncloud!

*Hans brings in a chubby she-cat*

Critter: Hello Ferncloud! My are you fat!

Ferncloud: I'm not fat, I'm expecting! Where am I?

Cristy: You're on the Dare Show!

Ferncloud gasps: The same place that Leafpool came back from!

Critter: Came back? We never let her leave! She must have escaped! Hans, fetch Leafpool for me, I have a special dare for her next!

*Hans appears with Leafpool*

Leafpool: No, not this again!

Critter: Shut up! It's Ferncloud's turn! Ferncloud, you dare is to tell the clans that all the kits you've ever had, weren't yours! You have to tell them they were Leafpool's!

Leafpool and Ferncloud: How did you know!

*Critter and Cristy look at each other*

Critter: I didn't, but thanks for telling us anyways! Good-bye Ferncloud!

*Ferncloud poofs*

Cristy: Let's watch it on CATTV!

*_TV POPS OUT OF WALL*_

_Ferncloud jumps onto the gathering tree._

_Dustpelt: Ferncloud what are you doing? _

_Ferncloud: I'm sorry Dustpelt, but I have a confession! All the kits I ever had were never mine! They are Leafpool's!_

_*Clans Gasp, then chase Ferncloud out of clan territory*_

_Dustpelt: Wait a minute! Shrewpaw was older than Leafpool!_

_*TV TURNS BLACK*_

Critter: Well that was fun!

Cristy: Now for Leafpool! Your dare is to…

Critter: Have kits with….

*Small door opens revealing Purdy*

Leafpool: Purdy?

Purdy: What all this yellin' for, and where the darn tooten am I?

Critter: The Dare Show! You have to have kits with Leafpool!

Purdy: Who?

Leafpool: Me, Leafpool!

Purdy: Hello there Mousefur!

Cristy: What? She doesn't even look like Mousefur.

Critter: Let's get on with it! Into the room!

*Door opens and both cats walk in*

Purdy: I didn't see you before Longtail!

Leafpool: What? Longtail is a tom!

*Door closes*

Critter: Purdy is gay?

Cristy: What ever sinks your cheese.

Critter: What?

Cristy: The end!

**Thanks for reading! Post your dares and who should be dared! Any character! Any dare! Only here on the Dare show!**


	2. Chapter 2

THE DARE SHOW!

Cristy: Welcome back! Unfortunately, Critter is locked in a room with Berrynose, and has gone brain dead!

*Door opens and small bracken colored she cat claws her way out*

Cristy: Critter! You're alive! Why did you go in there?

Critter: You told me Lionblaze was in there and he wanted to talk about us!

Cristy: Oh yeah, I did, didn't I? Well on with the show!

Critter: Since we've had no reviews, where just going to make up some more dares…

Cristy: Wait, what about Purdy and Leafpool's kits?

Critter: Bring them in!

*Door opens and three fat cats walk in*

Fatkit- A fat tom with brown fur

Roundkit- A fat she-cat with tortoiseshell fur

Chubbykit- A fat tom with striped brown and white fur

Critter: My aren't they... Oh what's the word?

Cristy: Ugly? Fat? Stupid? Lazy?

Critter: No, I was going to say smelly, does Leafpool even take care of them?

Cristy: Nope. Now on to the first dare!

Critter: This one goes to…

*Drum roll*

Critter: Tigerstar!

*Crowd applauses and Tigerstar walks in signing autographs and taking pictures with fans*

Tigerstar: Hello my fans!

Critter: Hello Tigerstar! We have a dare for you!

Tigerstar: What can I do for my fans? Sign their forehead? Give them a piece of fur?

*Critter whispers dare into Tigerstar's ear*

Tigerstar: *Squeals like a fourteen year old girl* Do I have to! It's so embarrassing!

Cristy: No, you don't have too,

Tigerstar: Phew!

Cristy: But if you don't then you have to sit in that room over there. *Points to the room Critter was in earlier*

Tigerstar: Well that doesn't seem so bad! *Strolls right into the room*

*Critter and Cristy exchange glances and smirk*

Cristy: Let's see what is happening on CATTV! *Clicks tv on*

_Tigerstar: Well this isn't so bad! *Sits down in a cushion*I could get used to this!_

_Berrynose: *Screams like a fourteen year old girl* TIGERSTAR! OHMIGOSH! I am like your biggest fan! I have all your posters and I even have your toenail clippings!_

_Tigerstar: Umm, that's a little strange… *Backs away slowly, heading for the door*_

_Berrynose: Can I have your autograph? Because Poppyfrost would be sooooo jealous! OHMIGOSH! I'm going to have to send her a text!*Clicks buttons on his cell phone* There it's sent! *Phone starts singing, "When I grow up, By the Pussycat Dolls* What! She doesn't believe me! Here come here so I can take a picture! I'm going to have to post it on Facebook, and Twitter, and Myspace, ooh and we could make a slideshow and post it on youtube! _

_Berrynose chatters away while Tigerstar claws his way out the door…_

Tigerstar: Please, no more! I can't stand it in there! I'll do the dare!

Critter: Than we need Darkstripe and Firestar here as well! *Firestar and Darkstripe poof into room*

Firestar: Tigerstar! Darkstripe! Is this an evil plan from the Dark Forest!

Darkstripe: Shnookums! *Runs up to Tigerstar*

Tigerstar: Get off me Darkstripe.

Darkstripe: Fine. Where are we anyways?

Critter: The Dare show!

Firestar: The place where Leafpool had to have Purdy's kits and was mauled by a badger?

Cristy: Yep.

Critter: Tigerstar's dare was too tell us who he loved more, Darkstripe or Firestar!

*Firestar gasps while Darkstripe purrs*

Critter: Well Tigerstar, who is your secret love?

Tigerstar: Well, its not really a secret, since we've been going steady for a long time.

*Darkstripe's eyes twinkle*

Tigerstar: And I've wanted to come out, but he wouldn't let me. So here it is world, me and Firestar are lovers!

*Darkstripe gasps, Critter chuckles, Firestar doesn't know what to do, and Cristy laughs hysterically*

Darkstripe: How could you do this to me? After all we've been through! Well were done Tigerstar, for good! You'll never find another like me, that's for sure! *Darkstripe runs away sobbing*

Tigerstar: Why would I want another like you? *Crowd laughs*

Firestar: Finally we can be together without acting like we hate each other, Tiggy.

Critter: _Tiggy?_

Tigerstar: I know my beloved, now we can leave the clans together. We can hunt together all the tome now, Firey.

Cristy: _Firey?_

Critter: Since this is freaking me out, I'm going to poof them away. *Poof, they're gone!*

Cristy: Now for Dare Two! Don't worry this dare is shorter, and less creepy!

Citter: It's for Firestar!

Cristy: Darn, do we really have to poof him back?

Critter: Yeah, and we need Tigerstar, Onestar, Sandstorm, and Graystripe.

*Poof, all five cats appear*

Firestar: We're back! Why are they here too?

*Graystripe, Sandstorm and Onestar cower in a corner*

Sandstorm: This is that Dare show isn't it? Leafpool said bad things happen here, very bad things.

Critter: You're correct in all categories. This dare is for Firestar! Firestar, who do you love most, Tiggy, Sandstorm, Onestar or Graystripe.

Graystipe: Sorry dude, but I don't swing on that vine.

Firestar: Hmmmm, let me think….

Tiggy: Think? After all those moments together, you have to think.

Sandstorm: What moments?

Firestar: I choose, Tiggy!

*Onestar gasps, Sandstorm sneers, Graystipe coughs uncomfortably, Tiggy screams like a fourteen year old girl, Critter chuckles, Cristy pukes*

Sandstorm: Fine, I don't need this, I have Graystripe! *Makes out with Graystipe*

Graystripe: Wow. That. Was. Awesome. *The two run away together*

Onestar: I'm going to leave now.

*Tiggy and Firey run away together into the Sun set.*

Critter: I thought you said it was going to be less creepy?

Cristy: But you forgot one thing…

Critter: What?

Cisty: Syrup.

**THE END.**

**Hope you liked it! PLEASE REVIEW! I need DARES! NOW! First Dare given gets an e-hug!**


	3. Chapter 3

Dare show!

Critter: Welcome! Today we have three new Staff workers, who are going to help us with today's dares! If they don't die from one of the dares today, they can stay! Here they are!

Twilight: a medium sized cat who is literally purple, gray and white.

Moonrise: Small, litteraly, dark blue, blue, and white cat.

Sunset: Small, litteraly, red, yellow, and orange cat.

Cristy: Twilight and Moonrise, would you please bring in that machine over there! And Sunset, could you please bring in Hollyleaf!

*Two cats wheel in a giant machine with blinking lights and steam rolling out from the sides. They back away slowly, as if unsure that they are safe*

Critter: I would like to thank Mintkit74 for this… this thing! We don't know what it does, or how to you it really, all the note says is to put Hollyleaf in the tube running down the center, wait a few moments, and poof! Something happens!

*Sunset walks in with a mangy she-cat*

Sunset: I have Hollyleaf!

Critter: What took you so long?

Sunset: I had to search the tunnels for her, and it was dark and,

Critter: No excuses! I banish you to the Berrynose room!

Cristy: Don't you think this is a little harsh?

Critter: GO TO THE ROOM. NOW.

*Sunset puts tail between legs and walks to the door. Door opens, Sunset enters, and squeals are heard. Then screams and cries are heard.*

Critter: Hollyleaf, your dare is to go into that machine!

Hollyleaf: Warrior Code. Warrior Code. Warrior Code. *Walks into machine*

Cristy: Well, that was easy.

*Machine starts. Rumbles and poofs of smoke appear out of an opening and a strange thing appears.*

Critter: What is that thing? *Hurls*

Cristy: Looks like a lion and a worm had a baby. *Hurls*

WormxLion baby: Warrior code. Warrior code. Warrior Code.

Cristy: OHMIGOSH! Its Hollyleaf! *Hurls*

Critter: Moon-something- I don't remember your name- send her away!

*Medium sized cat hisses at Critter and pushes the Hollyleaf out the door*

Critter: On to the next dare, this one comes from Warriorcrazy! It says dare Lionblaze, which cat does he love?

Cristy: Well, its pretty obvious!

Critter: Yeah I know!

*In unison*

Critter: Cinderheart!

Cristy: Me- I mean Cinderheart!

Critter: Just incase were wrong, lets bring in the golden tom himself!

*Door opens. Lionblaze walks in. Girls in the crowd squeal and shout his name*

Lionblaze: This isn't dirtplace…?

Critter: Welcome to the Dare show! Your dare is to tell the crowd which cat do you love more? Cinderheart, Icecloud, Heathertail, Dovepaw, or Ashfur.

Lionblaze: Ashfur? I hate him.

Cristy: Oh Lionblaze… *Walks up to him and sniffs his fur* Just as I remembered, your scent is so forresty…

Lionblaze: Remembered? I've never met you! But back to the question, I had a crush on Heathertail when I was a 'paw, but not anymore… And I never saw anything between me and Icecloud. And Dovepaw is my fourth cousin! So I guess that leaves only one choice….

Critter: I knew it!

Lionblaze: Yup, I love Cristy.

*Cristy squeals like a fourteen year old girl. They run away together into the sunset*

Critter: Well, I guess I'm the only host for now. The next dare goes to Firestar, from Dragonclaw-Phoenixstar1017! Let's bring him in!

*Twilight brings in Firestar*

Firestar: No. Not here again! *Tries to run away, but Twilight and Moonrise block his way*

Critter: Your dare is to go watch Resident Evil, 1, 2 ,and 3. Twice. Then you have to watch Silent Hill. Twice. Moonrise will show you where the movie theater is.

Firestar: Doesn't sound so bad…. *Follows Midnight*

Critter: Since that is going to take a while, we'll check on him in the next episode! Now for our last dare of the episode! This one goes to Icecloud and Heathertail! From Dragonclaw-Pheonixstar1017! Twilight, would you bring in Heathertail and Icecloud, and both their true loves please?

*Small she-cat trots out and appears with four cats, staring at each other dreamily*

Critter: I've decided to tweak this dare slightly. Instead of Icecloud and Heathertail making out with Icecloud's true love watching, Heathertail and Icelcoud will make out with both the true loves watching, then the true loves will make out, with Icecloud and Heathertail watching!

*All four cats gasp*

Critter: Icelcoud, could you tell the crow who your true love is?

Icecloud: The crow? Don't you mean the crowd?

Critter: Nope, I mean the crow. *Large black bird swoops down and lands on Critter's shoulder*

Crow: Tell me.

Icecloud: Um, well okay. My true love is Bumblestripe!

Bumblestripe: Ello there govna!

Critter: And you Heathertail, who is your true love?

Heathertail: Breezepelt.

Critter: Why? He's so mean and evil.

Heathertail: But he's so dreamy….

Critter: Why do good she-cats always go after Ashfoot's kin? Crowfeather, then Breezepelt, then Lionblaze and Jayfeather…..

Heathertail: Jayfeather?

Critter: Stick.

Heathertail: But the stick isn't related to Ashfoot….

Critter: On with the dare! Make out now! Bumblestripe and Breezepelt,you two must watch!

*Icecloud and Heathertail nod awkwardly, then lean in. They began to make out and the two toms watch.*

Breezepelt: I've seen better…

Bumblestripe: That. Was. Amazing.

*The two she-cats nod awkwardly again and move away not speaking*

Critter: Okay, Bumblestripe and Breezepelt, it's your turn!

*Screams are heard and a small red cat claws its way out of a room, leaving door open*

Critter: Sunset! You have to close the door or else-

*Berrynose runs out of the room, squeeling like a fourteen year old girl*

Berrynose:OHMIGOSH! I'm free! OHMIGOSH! It's Bumblestripe, I haven't like, seen you in forever! I need your number, we need to keep in touch!

Critter: Quick, somebody catch him!

*Berrynose chatters on but is moving too fast for anyone to catch him*

Critter: We'll have to continue this next episode. I'm Critter saying good-bye. Heathertail, tackle him!

**Thanks for all the dares! I couldn't use them all but I hope you liked reading it as much as I did writing it! Please send more dares!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Dare show!**

**Thanks for all the reviews! I hope you like this!**

Critter: Welcome back! Thanks to Loststream , we have caught Berrynose! Let's see how he's doing. *Clicks CATTV button*

_Berrynose: OHMIGOSH Poppyfrost! I was like caught by a butterfly net! And they put me back in this horrid room, I mean like, the wall paper is so drab and the chairs are sooooo last year! *Starts crying* It's sooo hard being me, in ugly rooms and she-cats always chasing after me. Sometime I wish I was ugly like Thornclaw, but then I' like, "But I love my face!" and I think better of it._

Critter: Well that was pointless. But back to the dare we never finished last time! Breezepelt has to make out with Bumblestripe with Heathertail and Icecloud watching!

*Door opens, and a bracken colored she-cat enters crying*

Critter: Cristy! What happened?

Cristy: Lionblaze broke up with me and went to be with Cinderheart. He said I was too needy and loved cheese too much!

*Critter slaps her* Critter: Snap out of it woman! You can never love cheese too much, and if he thinks that then he's a snowy gingerbread man!

Cristy: Wha-

Critter: On with the dare! Sunset and Twilight please get the four cats, I'm too lazy to say names.

Sunset: Yes boss.

Critter: My name is Critter! If you don't know that, then I sentence you to the room with Berrynose!

Sunset: Please no! Not that, anything but that!

Critter: Fine, you have to… run into the Shadowclan camp, serenade Blackstar with the song No body likes you, and have his kits.

Sunset: I'm going into Berrynose's room.

Cristy: I guess nobody likes Blackstar.

*Twilight comes in with the four cats that Critter is too lazy to name*

Breezepelt: Do we still have to do the dare?

Cristy: Yep.

*Cats groan*

Bumblestripe: We might as well get it over with.

*Both toms nod, lean forward and make out. Heathertail pukes, Iceloud coughs uncomfortably*

Heathertail: I think I'm going to be sick.

Icecloud: *coughs*

Breezepelt: Can we leave then?

Cristy: Everyone but you Breezepelt.

*Breezepelt groans*

Breezepelt: What do I have to do now?

Cristy: First we need to get to the gathering island. *Snaps fingers and they poof there*

Critter: We're here! And just out luck, there's a gathering! *Smirks*

Breezepelt: What do I have to do?

*Cristy hands Breezepelt the dare paper*

Breezepelt: Fine. But if I die, tell Jayfeather, I hate him.

Critter: I think he knows that, you attacked him at the Moonpool remember?

*Breezepelt snorts, pushes through the crowd of cats and jumps onto the gathering tree*

Firestar: Breezepelt! What are you doing?

Onestar: Get down from here right now, or no gatherings for the next eight moons!

Breezepelt: I have to, I was dared.

*Firestar puts tail in front of a very angry Onestar*

Firestar: It's no use, he must do it.

*Breezepelt clears throat, then jumps*

Breezepelt: I believe I can fly! I believe I can- *Thud*

Cristy: Clean up on aisle four! *Crowd laughs*

Critter: Let's get back to the show! *Snaps fingers and appears back in the showroom*

Critter: The next dare goes to… Graystripe! *Gray cat appears*

Graystripe: What the…? Where am I?

Cristy and Critter in unison: The Dare show!

Graystripe: The place that Firestar had to watch all those movies? He still has nightmares about them, he won't even eat bananas anymore…

Critter: Bananas? But anyways, your dare is to have author powers! You can do anything you want, with one rule, you can't hurt me or Cristy.

Graystripe: Cool! I'm going to bring Feathertail and Silverstream back to life, and eat as much fresh kill as I want!

Critter: What about Millie? And weren't you with Sandstorm a few episodes ago?

Graystripe: Sshhh, they don't know about each other… My dream my whole life was to have three beautiful she-cats as mates…

Cristy: How could your plan not fail horribly?

Critter: Our next dare is to Hawkfrost! *Clicks heals three times chanting, "Theres no cat like Hawkfrost"*

*Hawkfrost poofs*

Hawkfrost: Oh Darkstripe, you shouldn't have… Wait where am I?

Critter: Your on the Dare show, where we interrupt awkward moments! Your dare is… *Opens envelope* Darn, it's a truth, and a boring one at that!

Cristy: What does it say?

Critter: It says, ask Hawkfrost if he misses his mother.

Cristy: Well, do ya'? *Points on Hawkfrost*

Hawkfrost: I don't m-miss *starts sobbing* Mommy! Mommy I miss you so much! Why did you leave me! Why?

Critter: Get this vile piece of foxdung out of here!

Cristy: Wow that's harsh.

Critter: I'm allergic to mama's boys.

Cristy: What happens? Can you breathe? Hives? Blindness?

Critter: I sing uncontrollably. Oh no, I've been exposed to him too long, its starting to happen! I'm a maniac! Maniac! On the floor! And I'm dancing like I've never danced before!

Cristy: Uhhhmmm… Well… I guess we'll have to end this episode early! Everybody now!

Everybody, except Hawkfrost he's still crying like a little girl: We go together like  
rama lama lama  
ke ding a de dinga a dong  
remembered for ever like  
shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom

Chang chang chang-it-ty chang  
shoo-bop  
That's the way it should be  
Wha oooh yeah!

*Whole room bursts out in dance*

**Hoped you liked it! I need more dares, sorry if I didn't use one you might have suggested, but if it didn't fit in with this episode, I didn't use it. Please Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all the reviews, I would have posted sooner, but stupid Microsoft word wouldn't let me do anything! But alas, I have brought bad news, this will be the last episode of the Warriors Dare Show... SIKE! I'm just pulling your chain, (Whatever THAT means) I will faithfully make new episodes as long as you give me new dares! And because I see a bunch of people are doing this...**

**Sunset: I don't want want to do it,**

**Me: Do it or... Suffer the rath of my author powers.**

**Sunset: Fine. Critter-cat123 does not own Warriors. She does in fact own Critter and Cristy. Now heres the show.**

Critter: Welcome back! We're going to get right to the point today, since the Sunset took up too much time up there ^^. Sunset, you will have Blackstar's kits.

*Sunset growls, but thinks better than to talk back to Critter. She walks out of stage room and into Shadowclan territory*

Cristy: Anyways, our first dare goes to... Heathertail! *Turns off lights, then turns them back on, Heathertail is now standing next to her*

Heathertail: Why do you guys hate me so much?

Critter: We don't. The fans do.

Heathertail: WHat are you going to have me do? Eat dirt? Run into the Shadowclan camp singing, "I love bananas" while wearing a banana suit?

Critter: Worse.

Heathertail: Worse than those, you must be having me eat crowfood.

Critter: Worse than that.

Heathertail: You wouldn't. Not even you are that cruel.

Critter: Try me. You are going to have kits with Berrynose.

*Crowd gasps. Cristy pukes.*

Heathertail: NO! Please no!

Critter: Too bad! In you go! *Flips light switch, turns it back on, Heathertail is gone*

Cristy: Let's see Berrynose's reaction on CATTV! *TV TURNS ON*

_Berrynose: OHMIGOSH! IT'S HEATHERTAIl! I, LIKE, LOVE YOUR FUR! DID YOU GET IT DIED, OR IS IT NATURAL?_

_Heathertail: Berrynose, be quiet. I have to have your kits!_

_*Berrynose suddenly looks very handsome*_

_Berrynose with a deeper, attractive voice: Oh Heathertail. Your deep blue eyes and pale brown pelt excentuate your delicate face._

_*Heathertail steps forward, towards Berrynose*_

_Heathertail: Oh, Berrynose, I didn't know you could be so... so... handsome and not annoying..._

_Berrynose: Shush. Let your eyes do the talking. *TV Turns black*_

Critter: I think it was time we stopped that there. What's are next dare, Cristy?

Cristy: He's...so...dreamy!

Critter: So that's how he has all those she-cats falling for him! *Slaps Cristy*

Critter: Snap out of it woman! He's an annoying furball!

Cristy: Wha-what? What happened?

Critter: You were in a trance! Now get me the next dare.

Cristy: It says... dare Hawkfrost to eat Tigerstar's leg.

Critter: Sounds good to me. Bring Hawkfrost and Tigerstar in please! *Two cats fall from the sky*

Hawkfrost: Tigerstar, your leg tastes so good! *Gnawing on Tigerstar's hind leg, which is barely a stub now*

Tigerstar: My turn next! *They don't notice Critter, Cristy, or the crowd*

Critter whispers to Cristy: I think we should poof them back to the Dark Forest, this dare took care of itself. *Cristy nods, staring wide eyed at the two cats. Tigerstar and Hawkfrost poof away.*

Critter: Our next dare is actually a truth. It says, tell Tawnypelt to ask Hawkfrost who he likes best, Mothwing,herself, or Brambleclaw! Lets bring 'em in! *Claps, lights turn off, claps again and the lights turn back on, no one is there*

Critter: Darn it! Hans, would you get them please.

Cristy: *Sings jeopardy theme song* Doo doo doo doodoodoodoo doo doo doo doo do! do! do! do!

Critter: Here they are! *Giant hand appears and drops all five cats*

Hawkfrost: Cheese and Rice! I'm back here again!

Cristy: Yep. Here you go Tawnypelt! *Hands her paper*

Tawnypelt: *mutters* Why do these things always happen to me? *Talks loudly again* Okay Hawkfrost, who do you like better, me, Mothwing, or Brambleclaw?  
Hawkfrost: Brambleclaw is here? *Spins around, then attacks Brambleclaw. They start to fight viciously*

Critter: Look, their hugging, awwww brotherly love...

Cristy: I don't think their hugging...

Critter: Onto the next dare! Can somebody get me Ashfur please? *Ashfur walks in, crowd throws food at him and boos*

Crowd: Boo! Boo! You suck! I hate your face! Boo!

Ashfur: Hey! Stop throwing chicken nuggets at me! What am I doing here anyways?

Cristy: *Says in creepy AOL e-mail voice* You have a dare.

Ashfur: Oh great! What am I supposed to do? Nothing could be as bad as the pain I feel in my heart...

Critter: Shut up! Your dare is to...*Opens envelope* Run through Shadowclan in a banana suit singing,"I love bananas." Hey I guess Heathertail is psychic or something! Now into your suit of banana!

Ashfur: Fine, let me get it out of my closet...

Critter: You own a banana suit already?

Ashfur: I've been on a lot of dare shows.

*Ashfur puts on banana suit, and runs into Shadowclan territory*

Cristy: Let's watch on CATTV!

*Tv come out of wall*

_Ashfur: I love bananas! I love bananas! I love BANANAS! *Runs into Blackstar*_

_Blackstar: I LOVE bananas! *Eats Ashfur whole*_

_*TV turns black*_

Cristy: Good, not he can never come back! !

Critter: Our next dare goes to Breezepelt. It's from Dragonclaw-Phoenixstar1017, I want to read the letter out loud... *Clears throat*Breezepelt: I HATE YOU! WHY WOULD YOU ATTACK A BLIND CAT! YOU SUCK! GET KILLED AND EATEN BY HELL HOUNDS THAT NO ONE BUT YOU CAN SEE! I got the Hell Hounds idea from Supernatural. I love that show.

Cristy: Sounds good to me. *Clicks button and Hell Hounds come out onto the stage in a cage. They snarl Viciously and attack the cage bars*

Critter: Aren't they cute! Bring in Breezepelt!*Breezepelt walks in*

Breezepelt: Have any of you seen Heathertail?

Critter: She's in Berrynose's room.

Breezepelt: NO! Not Berrynose! I must save her! *Pries open doors and starts vomitting* Heathertail! How could you? *Walks away, doors close* What do I have to do?

Critter: Get killed and eaten by Hell Hounds. *Points to the cage of snarling dogs*

Breezepelt: Nothing is worse than the pain and betrayel I feel now, I shall do, in hopes to end my misery...

Cristy: No! He can't do it when HE wants to! Then it won't be any fun!

Critter: Your right! Breezepelt, what would make you the happiest cat in the whole winde world?

Breezepelt *Sniffles*: I guess seeing Jayfeather get killed...*Sniffles*

Critter: Then it shall be done. *Clicks CATTV Button, TV Comes out from wall*

_Jayfeather: Stupid prophecy, stupid Breezepelt, stupid herbs, *Gets smited by lightning, turns to ashes*_

_*Tv Turns Black*_

Breezepelt: Yay! *Critter pushes him into cage* OW! OW! AH! Get them off me! AH! OW! EEK! OOF! HELP ME! OWOWOWOWOWOW! ow. EEP! OOOOOF! *Dies*

Cristy: Yay! Good thing we had that tape of Jayfeather getting hit by lightning!

Critter: Taped? No, that was real.

Cristy: Oh, ok. Next Dare! OOh! I like this one!

Critter: What is it?

Cristy: We get cookies! *Munches on choco chip*

Critter:. Good. *Eats all the cookies*

Cristy: Hey, I wanted more!

Critter: Too bad! Our next dare is..*drum roll* I don't re**Thanks for all the reviews, I would have posted sooner, but stupid Microsoft word wouldn't let me do anything! But alas, I have brought bad news, this will be the last episode of the Warriors Dare Show... SIKE! I'm just pulling your chain, (Whatever THAT means) I will faithfully make new episodes as long as you give me new dares! And because I see a bunch of people are doing this...**

**Sunset: I don't want want to do it,**

**Me: Do it or... Suffer the rath of my author powers.**

**Sunset: Fine. Critter-cat123 does not own Warriors. She does in fact own Critter and Cristy. Now heres the show.**

Critter: Welcome back! We're going to get right to the point today, since the Sunset took up too much time up there ^^. Sunset, you will have Blackstar's kits.

*Sunset growls, but thinks better than to talk back to Critter. She walks out of stage room and into Shadowclan territory*

Cristy: Anyways, our first dare goes to... Heathertail! *Turns off lights, then turns them back on, Heathertail is now standing next to her*

Heathertail: Why do you guys hate me so much?

Critter: We don't. The fans do.

Heathertail: WHat are you going to have me do? Eat dirt? Run into the Shadowclan camp singing, "I love bananas" while wearing a banana suit?

Critter: Worse.

Heathertail: Worse than those, you must be having me eat crowfood.

Critter: Worse than that.

Heathertail: You wouldn't. Not even you are that cruel.

Critter: Try me. You are going to have kits with Berrynose.

*Crowd gasps. Cristy pukes.*

Heathertail: NO! Please no!

Critter: Too bad! In you go! *Flips light switch, turns it back on, Heathertail is gone*

Cristy: Let's see Berrynose's reaction on CATTV! *TV TURNS ON*

_Berrynose: OHMIGOSH! IT'S HEATHERTAIl! I, LIKE, LOVE YOUR FUR! DID YOU GET IT DIED, OR IS IT NATURAL?_

_Heathertail: Berrynose, be quiet. I have to have your kits!_

_*Berrynose suddenly looks very handsome*_

_Berrynose with a deeper, attractive voice: Oh Heathertail. Your deep blue eyes and pale brown pelt excentuate your delicate face._

_*Heathertail steps forward, towards Berrynose*_

_Heathertail: Oh, Berrynose, I didn't know you could be so... so... handsome and not annoying..._

_Berrynose: Shush. Let your eyes do the talking. *TV Turns black*_

Critter: I think it was time we stopped that there. What's are next dare, Cristy?

Cristy: He's...so...dreamy!

Critter: So that's how he has all those she-cats falling for him! *Slaps Cristy*

Critter: Snap out of it woman! He's an annoying furball!

Cristy: Wha-what? What happened?

Critter: You were in a trance! Now get me the next dare.

Cristy: It says... dare Hawkfrost to eat Tigerstar's leg.

Critter: Sounds good to me. Bring Hawkfrost and Tigerstar in please! *Two cats fall from the sky*

Hawkfrost: Tigerstar, your leg tastes so good! *Gnawing on Tigerstar's hind leg, which is barely a stub now*

Tigerstar: My turn next! *They don't notice Critter, Cristy, or the crowd*

Critter whispers to Cristy: I think we should poof them back to the Dark Forest, this dare took care of itself. *Cristy nods, staring wide eyed at the two cats. Tigerstar and Hawkfrost poof away.*

Critter: Our next dare is actually a truth. It says, tell Tawnypelt to ask Hawkfrost who he likes best, Mothwing,herself, or Brambleclaw! Lets bring 'em in! *Claps, lights turn off, claps again and the lights turn back on, no one is there*

Critter: Darn it! Hans, would you get them please.

Cristy: *Sings jeopardy theme song* Doo doo doo doodoodoodoo doo doo doo doo do! do! do! do!

Critter: Here they are! *Giant hand appears and drops all five cats*

Hawkfrost: Cheese and Rice! I'm back here again!

Cristy: Yep. Here you go Tawnypelt! *Hands her paper*

Tawnypelt: *mutters* Why do these things always happen to me? *Talks loudly again* Okay Hawkfrost, who do you like better, me, Mothwing, or Brambleclaw?  
Hawkfrost: Brambleclaw is here? *Spins around, then attacks Brambleclaw. They start to fight viciously*

Critter: Look, their hugging, awwww brotherly love...

Cristy: I don't think their hugging...

Critter: Onto the next dare! Can somebody get me Ashfur please? *Ashfur walks in, crowd throws food at him and boos*

Crowd: Boo! Boo! You suck! I hate your face! Boo!

Ashfur: Hey! Stop throwing chicken nuggets at me! What am I doing here anyways?

Cristy: *Says in creepy AOL e-mail voice* You have a dare.

Ashfur: Oh great! What am I supposed to do? Nothing could be as bad as the pain I feel in my heart...

Critter: Shut up! Your dare is to...*Opens envelope* Run through Shadowclan in a banana suit singing,"I love bananas." Hey I guess Heathertail is psychic or something! Now into your suit of banana!

Ashfur: Fine, let me get it out of my closet...

Critter: You own a banana suit already?

Ashfur: I've been on a lot of dare shows.

*Ashfur puts on banana suit, and runs into Shadowclan territory*

Cristy: Let's watch on CATTV!

*Tv come out of wall*

_Ashfur: I love bananas! I love bananas! I love BANANAS! *Runs into Blackstar*_

_Blackstar: I LOVE bananas! *Eats Ashfur whole*_

_*TV turns black*_

Cristy: Good, not he can never come back! !

Critter: Our next dare goes to Breezepelt. It's from Dragonclaw-Phoenixstar1017, I want to read the letter out loud... *Clears throat*Breezepelt: I HATE YOU! WHY WOULD YOU ATTACK A BLIND CAT! YOU SUCK! GET KILLED AND EATEN BY HELL HOUNDS THAT NO ONE BUT YOU CAN SEE! I got the Hell Hounds idea from Supernatural. I love that show.

Cristy: Sounds good to me. *Clicks button and Hell Hounds come out onto the stage in a cage. They snarl Viciously and attack the cage bars*

Critter: Aren't they cute! Bring in Breezepelt!*Breezepelt walks in*

Breezepelt: Have any of you seen Heathertail?

Critter: She's in Berrynose's room.

Breezepelt: NO! Not Berrynose! I must save her! *Pries open doors and starts vomitting* Heathertail! How could you? *Walks away, doors close* What do I have to do?

Critter: Get killed and eaten by Hell Hounds. *Points to the cage of snarling dogs*

Breezepelt: Nothing is worse than the pain and betrayel I feel now, I shall do, in hopes to end my misery...

Cristy: No! He can't do it when HE wants to! Then it won't be any fun!

Critter: Your right! Breezepelt, what would make you the happiest cat in the whole winde world?

Breezepelt *Sniffles*: I guess seeing Jayfeather get killed...*Sniffles*

Critter: Then it shall be done. *Clicks CATTV Button, TV Comes out from wall*

_Jayfeather: Stupid prophecy, stupid Breezepelt, stupid herbs, *Gets smited by lightning, turns to ashes*_

_*Tv Turns Black*_

Breezepelt: Yay! *Critter pushes him into cage* OW! OW! AH! Get them off me! AH! OW! EEK! OOF! HELP ME! OWOWOWOWOWOW! ow. EEP! OOOOOF! *Dies*

Cristy: Yay! Good thing we had that tape of Jayfeather getting hit by lightning!

Critter: Taped? No, that was real.

Cristy: Oh, ok. Next Dare! OOh! I like this one!

Critter: What is it?

Cristy: We get cookies! *Munches on choco chip*

Critter:. Good. *Eats all the cookies*

Cristy: Hey, I wanted more!

Critter: Too bad! Our next dare is..*drum roll* I don't really understand this one. It says...1. get tigerstar to watch firestar and leafpool(it sounds preety insane) in front of of jayfeather darkstripe and hollyleaf who are armed with flamethrowers, and chainsaws.If I knew what it said, I would do it, because IT DOES SOUND REALLY INSANE, but you'll have to clarify... So... I guess this is the end of this episode! Bye!

Cristy: The sponsor of this episode is, Kill Critter INC.!

Critter: Shut that thing off!

**As always, I need more dares! And I really do want to use the one about the flamethrowers, but It's kinda confusing. Maybe if you word it differently? I don't know... Well, thanks for reading! Bye!**


	6. AN

A/N

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA! There is a certain person out there, not going to mention any names, that does not write stories, only reports them! She has reported this Dare Show, because its not a story, but I think this is in fact a story. It tells about the adventers of two young she-cats on their show! Now I know your not aloud to do scripts on , but still, you don't go around reporting everyone you see! But anyways, from aside from my rants, I do have something to say. If this account gets banned or something, I will still post new Dare Shows under a new account! See I have found a loupole! Hehehe Im so evil... And even if I can't do that, I shall post them on my blog, which I will not say, until I get banned, then I shall say LOL. Thank you, except for the person who reported me, I do not like you.

-Critter-cat123


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